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by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Aug 20 - 07:06 | reply to this comment
Why a dominant woman would want a dominant man
A poster wrote:

Sarah, what I don't get is why a dominant woman like your self would want a dominant man.

The mistake you are making here is to assume that a dominant person will want a submissive partner. Where did this assumption come from? I don't know, but what I do know is that not all dominant individuals would be happy with a submissive partner, and not all submissive individuals enjoy being with a dominant person. It depends on the individuals and on exactly what we're talking about. Evidently those who are dominant in the BDSM sense value extreme submissiveness highly. But other dominant men would find that uninteresting.
Given that, as I said, being a dominant person does not necessarily imply wanting to get the upper hand in a relationship, I don't really understand why the idea seems so strange to some readers. Perhaps it is time to question a few BDSM assumptions?

by Sarah Cavendish on 2004 Aug 21 - 13:14 | reply to this comment
New definitions
The mistake you are making here is to assume that a dominant person will want a submissive partner. Where did this assumption come from?

I don't know but it sure isn't an unusual!

My husband wants submission from me, to him, in a way that is specific to us. He does not want and would lose interest in a generically submissive woman. All his lovers before me were very assertive women. No shrinking violets ever caught his eye!